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My Friend, Get Ready for The Ride of Your Life
By: Jean Harper

There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line.
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
~Indigo Girls, "Closer to Fine"

A good friend of mine recently lost her job- I found myself saying out loud to her, "you are not defined by that corporation, it is not who you are" I was kind of shocked at my own realization, it was so clear to me. I have known her for over 20 years and she is so wounded by this corporation that is totally inconsequential to the person I know her to be. Yes, the job pays the mortgage and the other "things" but how do we get our identity so attached to a job? It certainly happened to me in the past and countless others. More importantly, how do we get to the point of allowing corporations to put us into the "fear" mode. It seems the phrase, "you're lucky to have a job" has put many people in so much fear that companies can demand whatever they want and people are too afraid of losing their jobs so they just do anything, even if it means giving up a part of their soul. 

My friend is very capable, educated, attractive, fun and has a solid financial cushion that will last for some time. But right after she was laid off (along with 25 others) she started spewing out all of the reasons why she would not be able to get another job.  All of that spewing of reasons why, "I can't" seemed to be programmed in her brain. Where did the programming come from? Well, that's an entire article in itself but briefly: word of mouth, media, TV and the corporation "insiders", as I like to call them, who start the rumor- "you're lucky to have a job". That rumor carries all sorts of hidden messages like: "don't complain, work as many hours and days as it takes, take a pay cut, better not take any vacation time, and my all time favorite message- you better kiss my a_ _ or you may get fired". Then the chatter continues with, "if you lose this job you won't be able to find another one because there are no jobs and no one will hire you anyway because you're too old at 39, which means you'll be 40 soon"! Oh my, too old at 40? What happened to "60 is the new 40"? And we're living into our 90s! It's almost funny when you stop and think about it however it's the world most people seem to be living in and I am certainly no stranger to this chatter.

I am not minimizing my friend's loss but I only wish I could have played back for her what she was saying and then just reprogrammed the voice to say, "I am now free to find out what I really want to do with my life and get back to being healthy and true to myself, it has been so long but now I am ready to be me again".  She was unhappy with her recent job for so long and for so long she has lived in the fear of losing it.  I wanted her to lose the fear that she has been living with all this time and regain her identity. Obviously, it would be a little arrogant of me to think it would be "me" that would help her see but I know she is ready and I look forward to getting my friend back.

So, for her and anyone else in this situation, I decided to write this article.

I have discovered that finding my true self required that I realize that I am not my current situation. My true self is the person I am passionate about the most.  It’s the personality and the identity that makes me smile when I remember it, that makes me feel happy and relaxed and as I reflect on this further, money is of no object.

Creating the peaceful life we desire is entirely possible. The secret beccame clear for me when I realized that I, alone, held the key to this life I desired.  It's seems natural to turn to others to fulfill our needs and wants but only after I realized that the one most likely to fulfill my needs, had to be "me".  I was not going to be truly happy with what others provided- the key was tightly held in my own hands, I just had to choose to use it. 

Spending time alone where I could not be influenced or inhibited by others has been my greatest gift.  I am discovering things about myself that I might not otherwise have known.  In determining my true identity I continue to move towards making it my main identity.  I will still be a friend, a lover, a sister but deep inside my true identity will be one.

I believe as many others that we're here to find ourselves at the very core of our being and to learn to operate from that place.  I found this quote from the Dalai Lama: “I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”

When I left a job several years ago I removed a "mask" and at first I really didn't know who was underneath that "mask".  I had a false sense of self. This "mask" was merely a façade I used in order to feel safe, but it was far from who I really am.  In my current journey to live a life of pure joy that is filled with healthy relationships, a strong career, and whatever other attainable goals I decide and desire, it is vital for me to dive within the deepest layers of my soul and look at the beautiful gifts I have been given.  In the past I was intimidated by the thought of becoming attuned with my emotions but now I realize that the only person I will ever meet there is myself. 

Our world is changing so rapidly for each of us on this journey of self discovery.  I am confident that the road will lead us to the appreciation of all the facets of our soul allowing us to radiate pure beauty, confidence, strength and love and a strong foundation for living a life of joy.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  ~Anaïs Nin

So, the greatest adventure that life offers us is the discovery of our True Self. This discovery awaits all of us seeking "The Ride of Our life".  It is a life- transforming experience.

View this Video below - For a Visual of the Ride of Your Life



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