Home Moxy Women Travel Money Health Leisure Features Events

Spiritual Quest

A Spiritual Quest?
By: Karen Castle

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious…He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. ---Albert Einstein

Did you ever have an inner call or sense intuition to do something abstract or unfamiliar but you didn’t understand why? Have you ever found yourself learning about something because you just knew right away you had to do it? This happened to me in the new millennia and the year 2000. I didn’t know what I was searching for but I knew that I felt a deep inner stir. It was subtle at first but now I know it was a deep thirst for my spiritual quest. I trusted my inner guidance to lead me although I had no clue what I would find.

In the fall of 2003, I took a trip to the Northeast and experienced a powerful weekend that gave me some direction to what I was seeking. I will never forget that weekend in Richmond, Va. It was November, late autumn, and the leaves were falling from the trees. There was still a vast array of reds and yellow colors on the trees but anyone who is familiar with this season knows the foliage has passed and winter is settling in. I was delighted to be there. The coolness in the air was a treat and it felt really good. I was there to meet my cousin for the weekend—we were celebrating our birthdays. She wasn’t as excited as I was; in fact, I had to talk her into it.

She had every reason to be hesitant because this wasn’t your ordinary workshop. Yet I knew it was important, after all, I flew from Florida to Virginia just to attend. I thought it would be good for me to learn more about myself. Little did I know at the time I had a lot to learn. For one, I wasn’t even aware of the trauma I had experienced in my early adulthood. Not to mention the more recent circumstance of getting divorced. I never dealt with any of the emotions I had after splitting up with my ex-husband—it was like I stuffed them down inside my body never to be exposed. Worse than that, I was in total denial that I had lost custody of my son. As time went by, I realized there were many other circumstances that I hadn’t worked through or dealt with. It seemed that it was the right time in my life to be taking a look at situations that caused me to become numb. It was the right time for me to do some inner healing.  

The conference had about 100 participants and we got right into the Breathwork the following morning. As the participants laid down their blankets and pillows, the facilitators spread out across the room. Half the group did their breathing session in the morning and in the afternoon we would switch. This breathing, called Holotropic BreathworkTM, helps one release or let go of blocked emotions. Everyone’s experience is different and for some it is totally an inner process. For others, it involves physical and vocal expression. In either case, it is about whatever the breather is experiencing in the moment.

When it was my turn to breathe, I got right into it. I was lying on my back and started the deep continuous breathing. The idea was to let go into a deep process, an altered state of consciousness or a deep meditation. It was not an easy process because with so many people in the room and the loud music it made it difficult to let go. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I stayed with it.

The first thing I experienced was an inner vision of rainbow-like colors. The colors were mostly blue and purple; it was fascinating to experience these cloud-like colors in my mind. Then something suddenly shifted and I felt like I was some place beneath the earth, it felt damp. It was dark and cold and it felt like I was deep, deep underground. I have to admit, I was a little scared but I stayed with it because I was curious. The next thing I sensed was a box near me. Someone spoke to me from this tomb-like box. The voice felt feminine to me. She whispered, “open the box.” I thought, ‘what, no way, I don’t think so’. She said, “don’t be afraid.” I thought to myself ‘easy for you to say’. This dialogue in my head encouraged me to open the box. I thought ‘well why not’ this is all an illusion anyway, no harm done.  

I opened the box. As I did, this huge purple presence seeped out of the opening and enveloped me. I was instantly relaxed and felt calm and supported. This feminine presence lifted me up. We swirled up and out of the darkness to be revealed in the light. We were above ground and floating in the air. I said, “who are you?” because I felt this presence was familiar to me and I wanted to know if this was true. I heard the voice say, “aynanya”. I asked again, “who?” and heard the syllables ….’ay-nan-ya’. I thought, Wow! That’s interesting, I will have to remember that. As the experience continued, she and I danced together in the sky, we were free and joyous. There was nothing holding us back.

When this energetic presence emerged from the box like a puffy, purple hue, I felt as though I was participating in an awakening. It was as if this energy had been dormant for thousands of years and I helped lift the veil. This feeling was an amazing correlation of lifting the veil and breaking free. The session went on for almost three hours. There were other experiences intertwined but I mostly remember the details of the connection with this feminine presence. Yet, I had no idea who she was.

Eight years have passed since that weekend experience. Little did I know back then, I was embarking on a lifelong journey that would totally transform my life. To date, this journey has led me to writing a book about this feminine presence which I later discovered is the Goddess Inanna. Her presence in my Breathwork session has given me the courage and inspiration to search for meaning in my life and to empower my divine feminine energy.

Over the last several years, I have grown tremendously. All because I followed my intuition, my inner call, to go to a workshop. What I found there was a connection to an ancient Goddess, or what Carl Jung (the famous Swiss psychologist) referred to as an ‘archetypal identification’. Sometimes we don’t know why we do things but it is important to listen to our instinctual nature that guides us on our path. Inanna was guided by an inner call to journey to the depths of her soul. In my book, Unveiling the Modern Goddess, I will share with you her whole story; as maiden—mother—and crone. You will get an in-depth understanding of this Goddess’ methods for empowerment which will help you with your own life development and reaching your highest potential!

About the Author:

Karen Castle has been leading Holotropic Breathwork workshops since 2005. She is a Dr of Chinese Medicine and has an MA in Transpersonal Psychology. She offers monthly workshops in the Tampa Bay area and her next Goddess’ workshop, along with her book launch Unveiling the Modern Goddess, will be held on June 18th in St Pete, from 9-3pm. Karen’s intention for writing this book is to help women discover a whole new perspective of feminine energy that will help them unveil their inner goddess.

For more information about Karen Castle please visit her website at:  http://www.karencastle.net



Bookmark and Share