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Not just another New Year’s resolution

Not just another New Year’s resolution
By Siggy Buckley

I recently spent a week in a Migraine Clinic. On admittance, I was asked for my goal of the day. A nurse was going to write it on a whiteboard in my room. Stunned, I thought that was obvious: To be pain-free.

To have a goal is one thing but how to get there is quite another. But like the Chinese saying goes:”Every journey begins with the first step.”

You know what I’m getting at if you’re single and reading this. You have tried for a while on your own or the help of well-meaning friends –if you’re lucky--to find that elusive person. Now you’re curious to get some advice from a pro who has occupied herself with matters of the heart for years. At this time of year you read a lot of about New Year’s Resolutions. Everybody seems to be setting them. Some have been broken already. Have you? Did you set yourself goals for 2012 in other areas of your life? How about your love department?

The goal is obvious: Find a partner in crime: marriage, loving relationship, live –in lover whatever your target may be; someone to wake up with and spend time with, someone to hold your hand for a while, someone to walk hand in hand with. Like with every goal setting you need a step-by-step plan how to get there. And sometimes it’s baby steps you have to make.

With a gazillion self help-books out there reaching from “Dating for Dummies” to “How to Catch a man and Keep him“ you certainly have enough material available to start a proper research into the subject matter to get you on your way. Maybe you have done that already?

In my forties I was in your shoes and faced the same predicament. I was divorced, in a foreign country and had two teenage children which slightly complicated the matter. I don’t want you to do what I did and buy a matchmaking company in order to get access to as many available candidates as possible; or, as a journalist phrased it to my utter embarrassment –and that of my children-“To skim the milk off the cream.”

Yeah, in a way that’s what I wanted in spite of the huge price tag attached to it. But at the time there were very few alternatives for separated or divorced-I like to call them recycled- people in Ireland. Ireland had only just legally gotten the divorce in 1996.

You on the other hand have access to all these agencies out there to be of your assistance - online or personal. (Yes, the personal ones or matchmakers still exist if you prefer one to one personalized service, if a bit more expensive). The choice is yours.

I had fun running the agency, dealing with people, meeting nice clients, learning about life, myself and my own expectations from life. At the same time, I made money and “Combined business with pleasure” as another cheeky reporter put it. You can do the same when signing up with any of these agencies or several if you must. You will learn about yourself not just about the potential partners. You will grow through the experience, it will make you stronger, a more determined, discerning, experienced, savvy person, not a more frustrated one, I hope. You may have to do baby-steps, self-scrutiny being one of them. No, that’s a bigger one.



A motto that I learned from one of my older clients should guide you on this journey or quest: the 3 Ls “Living, Laughter and Loving.”

If you want to read more of this expert’s advice, get my book Next Time Lucky or watch this space.

About Siggy

Former matchmaker par excellence - or Dating Guru as the Irish media liked to call me- I was born in Germany. Having achieved a Masters Degree in English, I got married, had two children and then emigrated to Ireland with my family for the GOOD LIFE.

Involuntary life on an Irish farm produced a crop of misgivings and the break-up of our marriage. Single again, I launched a dating service in Dublin which eventually planted the seeds for this novel.
I'm now happily married and live in the USA.

I write for American Chronicles and Opednews. I write a blog that deals with my previous life on an organic farm. It's called "I once had a farm in Ireland" and you will find it at: Inandoutofireland.blogspot.com.
I'm a proud new International member of the National League of American Pen Women: Americanpenwomen.org


Lessons of a Matchmaker
Authored by Mrs Siggy Buckley

Cherie, a professional matchmaker from Dublin, Ireland, faces the ultimate challenge when she tries to find a soul mate for herself. She surfs the risky waves of the Internet and flies around the world to adventures, disappointments and not a few surprises. Chat-rooms prove to be intoxicating, and Cherie feels like in a kid in a candy store. Among the Lotharios she encounters are recycled bachelors, breezy islands of ego, fly-by-nights, birds of paradise, commitment phobics, and the odd sex maniac. She learns the hard way that it's easy come, uneasy go at this smorgasboard of cyber-dreamboats.

Her story is an intriguing read, offering a revealing glimpse into the world of cyber romance for singles that are toying with the idea, for those who haven't dared yet, or those who just want to compare notes. It also discloses practical advice for modern day's mate selection through the eyes of a dating expert, both on the Internet and in the real world. With insight and great humor, Siggy Buckley tells the sassy story of a modern woman's dilemma of being independent yet longing for coupledom.

Click Here to purchase Siggy's book




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